Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Art studio closure sale in Blacksburg Va

Sculpture & homesteading supplies for sale, barter, or FREE

All items sold or bartered "as is" and need to be off site by 2-28-09.
Location: Montgomery County, VA

Please dial
for more info.

Six Grandfathers project participants take note - You may find this soon-to-be-vacated artist's lair a real treasure trove!

Handy negotiation tip: Anything that does not fit in a compact car is extremely "JAMA" at this point so make an offer!




Air compressor. Worked fine just a few years ago.


Dryer. Heating element not currently working but may be fixable.


Boulders. Modestly sized for your convenience. Sculpture quality.


Soil amendments. Perlite, vermiculite, etc.


Locust poles. Recently hewn. About 12 ft tall.


Firewood. All seasoned hardwood.


Chainsaw. Made by McCullogh.


Artworks. Prints, paintings, sculpture, etc.


...plus much more!




Milk, eggs, pet food, veterinary assistance, timbering help



Thursday, February 19, 2009

From the desk of Old Man Kelly

Ahoy, lads and lassies --

This serves as your 24-hour conscription notice that Old Man Kelly and his
crew shall set sail from Gillie's around 7pm on Thursday. Accordion
music. Sea shanties. Stories from the road, one-man-band shenanigans.
If you miss out, you'll have missed out! And all of your friends will
think of you as the kind of person who would rather be home cleaning the
bathtub than out indulging in good cheer and raising your voice in song.
You don't want that, do you?

Lyric sheets have been printed and will be provided. I hear that Gillie's
has taken on extra galley slaves for the night to provide you with your
grog, so take advantage.

What shall we do with a drunken sailor? I don't know, either, but you can
bet I intend to find out.



Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Waiting for Nelson-sensei...Part 11

Dear Willie Nelson-sensei,

Ohayogozaimasu! Asa gohan o dozo! This breakfast table has been set with great amounts of love and affection for you and your dear ones as a way of honoring your contributions to the arts and culture in this and other realms.

If it does not look quite like a breakfast table to you right now, please be patient. An outright war on culture takes a bit of time to reverse. When this table's elements are taste-able, palatable, and yielding ikigai, our teams need to meet up and smash a big old "Wovoka was Right" themed pinata, because a milestone and a half will have been passed at that point.

By the way, if you should notice a sign in the cabin of our aircraft which indicates that it is time to stow your dinnerware and such to keep it from flying about, please feel free to ignore it. This sign does not apply to the breakfasts served aboard Air Katuah, as they are designed to be extremely low-impact, both in a literal and a figurative sense.

Once again, thank you for your commitment to humanitarian issues in this region, and thank you for trusting the Bear Magic Hockey Team bank with your business resources. We appreciate your patronage, and hope that you will be in touch immediately as soon as you land in Katuah, so that we can get your team's feedback about breakfast, and begin preparing lunch etc. for your team.

Please enjoy your stay in our sacred realm, and do not hesitate to contact me for any reason whatsoever should you require our banking and/or food security services.

May the spotlights in Roanoke, VA treat you extra-well tonight!


Suzy Nees
Bank president
Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank


Monday, February 16, 2009

Waiting for Nelson-sensei...Part 10

Dear Willie Nelson-sensei,

Greetings from beautiful* Willis, Katuah, where the Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank is busily preparing for the work opportunities you will be bringing to our region tomorrow.

Tomorrow at this time, our bank will begin cooking a breakfast which is designed to meet your personal nutritional and artistic needs by surrounding you with well-fed, un-grumpy team members who are skilled in the art of Legend Care.

A recent call to the Local 55 turned up some interesting info: Our breakfast should include at least 8 stagehand meals if we are to comply with the stringent food security regulations set forth by the Snaque Shaque, which governs our budget.

Legend Willie, if you are SURE that this will be enough stagehand breakfasts to enable you to deal with the crowds that will undoubtedly be facing this 2-17, please begin your day tomorrow with confidence. The IATSE 55 is a professional and highly skilled team of workers who take your musical career very seriously. If the breakfasts wind up being shared by additional workers who need to be hired on an emergency basis to accommodate the throngs tomorrow, I am sure that nobody will pass out, since a third party Snaque provider will be on hand to prevent this from happening.

You will be entering this realm with so many accumulated Bear Magic Real Estate Credits, though, that it seems to me to make sense to get re-acquainted with IATSE headmen in this region and others to see if more Breakfast Credits might possibly be issued tomorrow from your personal stash.

In any case, please enjoy your journey through Katuah, and please do not hesitate to contact me for any reason whatsoever. It is my wish that your newly issued Bear Magic Hockey Team bank card will function flawlessly tomorrow, and every day, regardless of the cultural weather.

Thanks very much for your investments in this region, and thank you for choosing the Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank.


Suzy Nees
Bank President

P.S. If you should find our banking center up in flames tomorrow please do not be alarmed. This is a normal event within the Burning Dollar music & arts festival. Special precautions are taken to ensure that no critters or people are harmed in any way by this activity.

Your snaques & such WILL be toast if such events do unfold tomorrow, though, so I would encourage you to call well in advance if you wish to inquire about the cost of contingency breakfasts in this region. I recommend Gillie's in Blacksburg, or Dino's in Willis, for this purpose.


* The Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank does not advocate offering access to U.S. currency to persons based on the fact that they live in a beautiful region, since all this really seems to do is enrage Pele-sama and encourage lending institutions toward co-dependence on regional tax harvesting mechanisms.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Waiting for Willie-sensei...Part 9

Dear Willie Nelson-sensei,

Warm greetings from the vibrant heart of Katuah! I hope that this communique reaches you in time to wish you and all your relations a very blessed 2-14.

Rumor has it that one of those naughty Bear Magic hockey players helped themselves to my passwords a short while ago to post a missive in which they begged you for ikigai etc.

Willie Nelson-sensei, did you feed those bears ikigai? They are pro beggars, so I am not scolding you; as their certified nutritionist I simply need to know what you gave them. They are going absolutely bonkers today (in a good way) and their ikigai levels are off the charts. If these critters keep absorbing ambient ikigai there is no telling how many hockey pennants they might win. In situations like this I am VERY glad I have chosen to work as the Bear Magic team's certified nutritionist and not the pennant manager. Managing those pennants is a hockey game in itself, sometimes.

(If the Bears are just feeling this way due to recent sequestration from "The Internet", please feel free to share this info with me also so that I can note that in our files.)

Now I really need to get down to business so I hope you will pardon any accidental brusque-ness. A VERY special lady named Janet might be visiting Katuah soon and she is a fan of your music and I owe her a mighty big favor as she recently help the team upgrade to some incredibly luxurious headquarters.

Also a VERY special doggy may be coming home soon, much to the potential delight of his tribe. "Orson", who left his home on Blue Springs road on 12-24-09, seems to have set himself up with a makeshift lair close to the Boy Scout Land around the Sacred Springs in Ayuwa'si. His gorgeous, medium length black fur, slightly curled tail, and trademark white chest patch have all been noted by eyewitnesses in the area. Dare we hope that this beloved son of Katuah will be able to join us on the Detsanunli this 2-17? I can hardly think of it without shedding an ikigai-rich tear. Luckily Baby Cleo, my daughter, has offered to dance in his place at the festivities should he not be home by 2-17, so her immense talents in this arena, and her trademark Yeti patch, should be somewhat of a consolation to the crowds.

(If, by some chance, you are not Willie Nelson, but instead a Virginia resident living near Mack's Mountain or Ayuwa'si (some call this area "Hiwassee") please note that your help in keeping Orson safe, warm, and within tracking distance is hugely appreciated by a very large community of folks.

Also, a handsome cash reward is being offered for the return of this valuable farm helper and family member. And if U.S. currency is not your reward of choice, Orson's dad would be happy to barter Willie Nelson concert tickets, goat milk, etc. to thank you for putting his ikigai farm back in order.

Orson is a widely beloved dog, and many have said that they would gladly return their reward to a Potlatch 2.0 kitty to celebrate his return. Folks who can help to make this much-awaited celebration happen are encouraged to watch for locally posted signs, which will help them get in touch with this dog's owner.)

So, Willie Nelson-sensei, here is your mission, should you choose and/or have the ability to accept it: Bear-proof the Honeysuckle Rose, shine up your best Dog Dancin' shoes, and get ready to claim over $1,000,000,000 in Bear Magic real estate credits! Air Katuah is going to come fetch your ENTIRE takoja (minus the tax burden, of course) so you can sing your most awesome rendition ever of "You Were Always on my Mind". If Janet and Orson are in the audience when you sing this song you MIGHT just get an even better prize than Bear Magic real estate credits so keep this in mind when making your song introductions this 2-17.

As always, thanks for your help in creating a universe in which the outright bludgeoning of creative impulses, or their corruption for purposes of profit, is a definite no-no. I thought this universe was shrinking at an alarming rate but then I left Montgomery County, Virginia forever and the feeling went away.

See you on the Detsanunli!

Your very devoted fan,

Suzy Nees
Willis, Katuah

P.S. Holy Bat Crap is this freaky or what: I just found out that the Sacred Springs are "on the market" for EXACTLY $1,000,000,000 in Bear Magic Real Estate Credits. Call it my Romany Intuition if you wish but I really think this is a sign that you should at LEAST visit the Springs when you visit our area in a few weeks.


Waiting for Dr. Willie...Part 8

Dear Willie Nelson-sensei,

We are back for medicine. Please, please, please, Nelson-sensei, make our Aunti feel better. If you have a bit of medicine left for us after you have worked on her, that is great since the Heartbreak Plague seems to be spreading, but if not we are cool, don’t worry about us. We will get by. Our Aunti is the most important thing in the picture right now.

We would not beg if we did not have to, but our Nation is in great danger so please, have your People call our People to get you and your healing team on the next Air Katuah flight to Ayuwa’si. Our Aunti might be dying of a broken heart, and none of the markets here sell the medicine that can keep her among the living.

Please, Nelson-sensei, come sing our Aunti the beautiful song you wrote for her just a bit ago to un-break her heart. In exchange for this medicine, our tribe will give you whatever you want when you get here: Furs, firepower, you name it! Nothing we own is too dear to be spared for our Aunti’s existential ransom. Not even our lairs!

(Our lairs are somewhat snazzy, I might add, thanks to some mighty smart investments made by the Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank.)

(I should also add that the “furs” will still be wrapped snugly around their living owners, making them EXTRA valuable, and that our fire gift to you will derive its power not from violence, but from its origins in the gentle, ancient, un-subdued heart of Ayuwa’si.)

If return travel is a concern to you, please be advised that we have obtained authorization to keep our private jet at your disposal should you need it for any reason, whether it is to return to The Land That is Not Katuah once you are done healing Aunti, or to jet back and forth between our realm and yours or to build enthusiasm for your healing projects. We offer the use of this gadget to you freely, as we know that your powers as a doctor justify the enormous impact this sort of craft has on Mother Earth.

(Our jet has become a mostly terrestrial creature these days, but don’t picture a cobweb-draped scenario when you imagine its appearance. Though it is usually grounded, Air Bear Magic is hardly un-used, as we find it a wonderful gathering place in which to lounge, sip drinks, and discuss new Hockey Etc. strategies.)

Willie Nelson-sensei, someone has probably warned you at some point in your life to not feed any bears which make themselves apparent to you, and although we endorse that advice for the most part, we offer the following amendment:

“Please do not feed the bears anything but ikigai, and bear-compatible Snaque Shaque products, which you should offer freely when loss of habitat etc. seems to have pushed the poor critters to the brink of starvation, existential or otherwise.”

Willie Nelson-sensei, like many folks these days, we Bears are in serious need of some ikigai. (We don’t mind Snaques, either, though we are very fortunate in that we have an official team nutritionist who sees to it that we never need to beg for food, which is why we appear so radiantly healthy and fat-un-deprived.)

Nelson-sensei, thank you very much for considering our request, and thank you for taking the time to read this missive. I hope that you and your dear ones are feeling well-fed, un-persecuted, and vastly creative. May the Creator bless you and all your relations abundantly.

Much love,

The Bear Magic Hockey Team
Ayuwa’si, Katuah

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Exhibit opportunity info from Ferrum College