Saturday, July 04, 2009

Oni wa soto!

Hello my relations,

Hope you are having a beautiful day this 7-4. Things here are fine. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, our takoja is at peace and everyone here has had a well-deserved good breakfast. Hopefully, your takoja is enjoying a similar morning.

As many of you may already know, today is the grand opening of the Ayuwa’si Holocaust museum, and to celebrate this occasion our family has collected an array of artistic works with more Ayuwa’si firepower than the most extravagant hanabi display imaginable.

Trial by Ayuwa’si Fire, the opera that documents the creation of these works, will be presented for the first time today in the Ayuwa’si Industrial Zone as a FREE thank you gift from my family to our community to express our appreciation for its support and good wishes.

If you live too far away from Ayuwa’si to witness this event personally, don’t despair…the opera has a built-in function designed to help folks like you feel like Ayuwa’si itself has arrived at your doorstep.

If you do not find our theatre before dawn tomorrow, please don’t give up on seeing its latest production. The creation and presentation of artistic works as diverse and stunning as those featured in Trial by Ayuwa’si Fire requires time, natural resources, and lots and lots of exorcism supplies. Also, some of the participating artists have not yet been made aware of their role in our family production, but this will happen in due time.

While you are waiting to witness this unique pageant of talent and good intentions, please feel free to join the growing contingent of volunteers who are helping to re-stock our production team’s exorcism supply kit, which is always in need of replenishment. As a volunteer on this production, your donated exorcism supplies will be converted into delicious snaques etc. and served to you personally at a Snaque Shaque near you just as soon as each and every participating Trial by Ayuwa’si Fire artist has enjoyed a good breakfast as compensation for their artistry.

If you are at a loss for ideas about how you can donate exorcism supplies to our production team, here are a few hints.

-Exorcism supplies can be new or used
- Maps, Bibles, quit-claim deeds and flutes are all suitable as exorcism tools
-Homemade “Secession, not hate” flags, Traces Library inheritance claim tickets, and pictures of the Blue Hole are ideal for purposes of exorcism

Folks who have no access to the items above are encouraged to seek safer ground than the ground they are currently inhabiting by reciting phrase below loudly, clearly, and in a spirit of uncowed independence tempered with sober respect for all victims of the American Holocaust.


Jigoku ja nai desu yo, kono hen wa!
Tengoku desu yo, Ayuwa’sishima wa!
Oni wa soto!


I need to go now to help the players get ready for the opera, and wish you a day full of illumination and blessings. Thank you for reading, and thanks in advance for supporting the mission of the American Holocaust Museum in Ayuwa’si, Katuah.