Sunday, April 19, 2009

It is a good day for the Schwag industry to die!

Dear Willie Nelson-sensei,

Happy 4-19! And much Aloha from the warm heart of Ayuwasi's busy industrial district, where I have been sent on an important Bear Magic Hockey Team bank mission: Eradicating Schwag from planet Earth. My teammates in this effort are the workers of the AIZ, the Ayuwa'si Industrial Zone, a realm that was born this very morning.

Some folks out there might be asking why folks in Ayuwa'si have chosen a peaceful Sunday morning in one of Earth's most gorgeous places to create an industrial zone which is focused on ridding the planet of sucky brown cannabis.

Sucky brown cannabis, in our minds, represents just a small portion of the Schwag industry iceberg, so our mission is not as simple as getting rid of this sort of pollution. Schwag, for the purposes of the Ayuwa'si Industrial Zone, is defined as any sucky work or product, and is not a term that is only applied to low grade cannabis.

This means that for us, fighting the Schwag industry is highly complex pursuit which demands much of its warriors, including a deep understanding of how any product, agricultural or otherwise, that is created un-mindfully and without compassion has the potential to unleash tsunami after tsunami of misery and violence.

That being said, I should mention that a recent newspaper article brought in from the Big World has spurred many of us to action in reducing the harm caused by Schwag cannabis trading between Mexico and the United States. Stories of decapitations, communities lost to gangs, and violence against law enforcement have scared the apathy right out of us, and we now have an industrial zone to prove it.

I sure wish you could be here with us today in the AIZ to spend your Bear Magic realty credits and to witness history in the making, but folks here are planning to make history every day for many days to come so please don't be too miffed at them for not giving you a heads-up about the big opening ceremony this morning.

You should also know that an honorary table was set for you and your creative team at the company cafe's breakfast celebration this morning, so anyone that asks should be informed that you and your teammates are VERY important around here and have been so right from the start. If anyone doubts this please have them call my office to make arrangements to see the gigantic "right to farm" pennants that were lovingly set in storage this morning after the Bear Magic team cleaned the breakfast table they festooned.

Here in Ayuwa'si, Sunday is considered by many to be a super-lucky day and a great time of the week to dig up Scripture with just the perfect amount of zing in it to scare the you-know-what out of Schwag manufacturers and other nefarious characters. Here, for example, is a nifty reading I found in Micah 2 this morning:

- --...-- -

WOE to them that devise iniquity, and work evil upon their beds! when the morning is light, they practice it, because it is in the power of their hand.

And they covet fields, and take them away by violence; and houses, and take them away: so they oppress a man and his house, even a man and his heritage.

- --...-- -

Lucky finds like this bit of Scripture make this Sunday a perfect day to introduce our entrepreneurial spirit to the wider world.

Willie Nelson-sensei, I have lots to do today and need to wrap this letter up, but I hope that you will feel welcome to visit our little beehive of anti-Schwag activity soon so that you can join us in taking a bite out of drug violence, Ayuwa'si style.

I have hand-picked some choice properties in your Bear Magic realty credit price range and taken the liberty of putting them under Bear Magic contract to prevent their abuse or misuse by less qualified settlers while you and your creative team decide which places in Ayuwa'si you would like to inhabit and/or set up business in or near the hub of all that is anti-Schwag.

Once our team succeeds in deflating the sub-universe inside which Schwag weed is grown, traded for capital, and otherwise used to lend credibility and resources to a sinking, parasite-ridden economic raft, I am sure that so many doors of hope and opportunity will open that many folks will be hard pressed to choose which sort of Heaven they want to inhabit.

Until that time, you will find me and my teammates here, in a "Heaven just waiting to happen," as our pitchmen have so aptly put it.

By the way, my Bank President door is always open to you, so please don't hesitate to stop by for some financial advice, or for snacks.

Thank you for your continued efforts to advance human culture. May this missive find you and your dear ones well, un-persecuted, and at the height of their creativity.


Suzy Nees
Bear Magic Hockey Team Bank president

PS. Have a good day tomorrow!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

"Willful blindness" to apartheid lands IBM, others in hot H2o with US courts