Friday, December 05, 2008

Waiting for Willie-san...Part 4

Dear Willie Nelson-san,

Happy 12-05-08. Today brings a mixed bag of news from our realm.

First the possibly unpleasant news: Due to a potential scheduling conflict, your tribe's Snaque Shaque meal on (date censored) might need to be served just a bit earlier or later than expected. I have committed to a fiscal responsibility education event which, as it turns out, may be happening at the exact time that I had been planning to serve Thanksgiving 2.0 to your team.

If this commitment was not directly linked to the United States judicial system, I would of course blow it off in a heartbeat, but such is not the case. You see, I am in the process of filing for bankruptcy in the United States courts, and this process requires me to follow certain procedures, including taking a special course in managing what remains of my financial resources. Hopefully, I will be able to take this class about a month before the Thanksgiving 2.0 event I have been planning for your tribe, but if this class is full I seem to have only one other option for completing it: attending class on (time and date censored), just when I had hoped to be sharing a toast to your health with our tribes and a bottle of Dogs on Trucks Expensive Champagne.

As of yet the Snaque Shaque has not appointed an assistant manager, so it is forced to close its "doors" when I am not personally available to manage its kitchens and tables. Almighty Jah willing, this will change soon, but for now I must advise you to brace for a temporary interruption of Snaque Shaque services on (time and date censored). I am extremely sorry to bring you this news, and hope sincerely that in the days and weeks to come I will be able to amend it. Thanks for your understanding, and thanks for letting the United States court system "borrow" me for this short period so that I can avoid provoking its wrath and powers of appropriation.

Now for the happy headlines:


"Him" and other tribal leaders to attend a special concert in Katuah this February

AKA Nantoka, separated from her lucky bank fighting hat, offers a unique reward for its return

Bat Crap Trader News will soon publish its mid-winter issue

Crying Helicopters stock shares split for the hundredth or so time

W. Nelson advance ticket sales "looking great" according to low-key promoters at the Hawaiian Embassy

Secret chef M. likely to be named Interim Snaque Shaque Manager

"Trial by Ayuwa'si Fire" set to hit bookshelves in early Spring of 2009

Shouseki Ninja school cookie fundraiser a "massive success", say organizers


These are just a few of the pleasant headlines from Katuah today. As you can see, the ocean of good news from this realm just keeps growing and growing, and it is a formidable task just to decide which headlines to publish. For this reason, and for reasons of National Food Security, I must ask you for your patience as these stories are released.

In due time, you and your tribe will be provided with official Snaque Shaque credentials which will make it easy for you to drink from our fountain of good news at any moment you choose, but for now the existence of yunwinigiski etc. among Internet readers forces me to be extremely selective about what I make readable to the general public.

I must close now so I can tend to the Snaque Shaque emblements, but I promise to try to let you know immediately if any important news develops in Katuah.

Yours very sincerely,

Suzy Nees