Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Waiting for Willie-san...Part 2

Dear Willie Nelson-san,

Warm greetings from beautiful Katuah. I hope that this missive finds you and your dear ones well and un-persecuted. Many of us here have a great appreciation for your work as a conservator of functional culture, and on behalf of myself and all these people I would like to extend a very heartfelt thank you.

My name is Suzy Nees and I am the head manager of the Snaque Shaque. This establishment has served numerous famous and talented individuals like yourself, and since the Snaque Shaque operates on a routine basis within range of your early spring tour this year, please allow me to extend to you and your entourage a most sincere welcome to enjoy, free of charge, a Thanksgiving 2.0 meal with our tribe.

There are few kanemochi* people among our tribe, so it is doubtful that we will be able to make a very large dent in your ticket sales. However, I hope very earnestly that when our tribes meet up, they will both feel richer, more un-persecuted, and much more well-fed, thanks to the Magical Snaque Shaque.

I would love to give you specific details which would allow you to find the Thanksgiving 2.0 table that is being set for your tribe, but unfortunately, the existence of resource-snarfing demons in regions which border Katuah makes the Snaque Shaque's cloaking device a must, and I cannot divulge more than a few details to you at this time as to the Snaque Shaque's physical appearance. However, please feel free to inform your entourage that if they should spot a gigantic pinata in the shape of a tearful helicopter or bank when visiting this sacred realm, by all means they should feel free to take hold of something stout and heavy and smash that mofo to pieces. This will get the Snaque Shaque party rolling big time.

Food security concerns and a strict privacy policy prevent me from divulging many details about the luminaries who might be sharing a table with you and your entourage early this spring, but here are a few discreet hints:

1. When the Alliens were relaxing backstage with friends and loved ones after their Earth-shaking performance at the 2008 Floyd Fest, the Snaque Shaque was there with cheese, apples, homebrew and warm congratulations.

2. Last summer, the Snaque Shaque prepared dinner for the Black Twig Pickers to prep them for one of their amazing performances at the Floyd Country Store.

3. World famous monumental sculptor Mitsunori Koike was the host of the very first Thanksgiving 2.0 meal ever provided by the Snaque Shaque. The spaghetti breakfast Mr. Koike hosted on that morning nearly twenty years ago has launched an educational journey in cultural conservation that has had numerous far-reaching effects which span many continents.

This detail brings me to a somewhat more sober topic: the terrorist attacks in Mumbai. I must inform you that when I first got it in my head to write you this missive, it was November 27, 2008. At that time I was highly concerned about the tragedy in Mumbai but it took me a minute to realize that there was a very good chance that our dear friend and living cultural treasure Mr. Koike was in fact in Mumbai as a guest of the Harmony Arts Foundation.

Several anguished days and many frantic telephone calls later, I was able to learn that Mr. Koike was unharmed by the attacks, although my suspicions that he was in Mumbai were confirmed.

Today is the first day that I have felt un-anguished enough to finish my missive to you, as the loss of Mr. Koike would be an enormous blow to the world and our tribe. I still have yet to communicate directly with this great hero of the Snaque Shaque to get verification of his safety and details of his condition. I know that as a fellow conservator of functional culture, you would go to great lengths to see to the well-being of someone like Koike-sensei, who has virtually disappeared to me due to the fact that as the humble unpaid manager of the Snaque Shaque I do not have phone service which will allow me to make international calls.

For this reason, I wonder if I might make a small request of you: to contact the Hannoki Studio and/or the Harmony Arts Foundation to get details on his condition and to invite him (and his entourage) to the big Thanksgiving 2.0 event happening early this spring in Katuah.

If you do not have the ability or desire to do so, I will certainly understand since this might seem like an odd request. Your choice in this matter will of course have no bearing on the invitations just extended to you and your tribe, although I should mention that Mr. Koike's pinatas would undoubtedly be an extremely festive and dramatic addition to this spring's events in Katuah.

In any case I wish you and your tribe a very happy Winter Giving Season this year, and I look forward to the meeting of our tribes in 2009, if not sooner. Again, thank you for your work as a conservator of functional culture, and thank you for taking the time to read this missive.

Hope to feed you soon!

Suzy Nees
Brush Mountain


*kanemochi = "money-having"