Letters to Nantoka: Gnomedex

Dear Nantoka,

What is all the fuss about this product "Gnomedex"?
Is it indeed a product at all? Does it cost money? Is it a scam?
Do you think it will help me at all with my sheepherding business?

Sincerely, Henry

Dear Nantoka,

Can you please tell me in plain English what NomeDecks is?

Sincerely, Curious in Copenhagen

Dear Nantoka,

My only computer access is a crappy dial-up connection on the public library computer.
Should I care about the word Gnomedex? Or the word Technorati?

Sincerely, Has a Life Outside of the Internet

Dear Nantoka,

Can you please tell me more about Gnomedex?
Will Gnomedex help me train my hunting dogs?

I don't really understand why I should care about this, but you have mentioned it in your newsletter so often I thought I would inquire since you have such a handy knack for explaining things to others in really simple terms.

Could you please explain to The Internet that I am likely to buy this product if it will help me figure out how I can spend less time in a cubicle and more time out in the woods with my pups.

Dear Nantoka,

I tried asking a friend about Gnomedex yesterday, but he used that "blog" word and I just have a phobia about the word blog.

I don't know. I just don't understand what a blog is. Can the world please slow down before we start re-inventing the wheel all over again? I am so exhausted and ready to get off the hamster cage wheel I could just scream.

Dear Nantoka,

I hear that you have the ability to transmit telepathic messages to robots. Will you please tell them to help stop desertification and soil runoff? These things are extremely frightening to me.